What causes a person to be so defensive?

When someone is embarrassed by what another person says or does, they may respond defensively. Embarrassment often occurs because of incorrect beliefs someone may have about themselves such as worthlessness, fear of abandonment, failure, or scarcity of positives in their lives.

How do you respond to someone being defensive?

Use ‘I’ statements One of the most effective methods of communicating with a defensive person is using “I” statements. This means framing the effects of situation around your personal experience, not on what the other person did wrong or what it might mean about them as a person.

What does it mean when someone is overly defensive?

To be defensive is to react with an overprotective mentality so a situation that perhaps doesn’t warrant it. Defensiveness is an impulsive and reactive mode of responding to a situation or conversation. Rather than listening with an open heart, we respond with our metaphorical shields up and weapons drawn.

What are signs of being defensive?

Are You Being Defensive? Signs of Defensive Behavior

  • Stop listening to the other person completely.
  • Trying justifying your actions.
  • Accuse someone else of doing the mistake.
  • Blame another person.
  • Make excuses about what they are criticizing.
  • Bring up the past instances rather than talking about the present situation.

What is defensiveness rooted in?

Defense mechanisms are often rooted in painful experiences. It can take time, patience, and practice to change lifelong emotional habits that we’ve used to survive difficult situations. Licensed therapists can provide information about coping skills and a nonjudgmental space to try new ways of managing emotions.

How do you talk to someone who is always on the defense?

3 ways to start a conversation with a defensive person:

  1. Calmly state your intentions up-front. For particularly sensitive topics that you’re almost sure will generate a defensive response, it can be helpful to just anticipate it.
  2. Avoid leading with an accusation.
  3. Steer clear of “always,” “never,” and “you” statements.

Is being defensive a trauma response?

Defensiveness shows itself through trauma for a variety of reasons. According to science, defensiveness is a common symptom for those who struggle with trauma, especially those who struggle with trauma related to sexual violence.